Long journey to eternal faith.

So 34 years ago my journey to faith started.I've lived my life always,well aware of my faith and power from above.I'll be the first to admit that I've made some horrible choices in my life and always claimed to have faith.Now more than three decades,i wonder did i really have?So many obstacles in my life i had to encounter,all happening to lead me to me my inevitable journey and destiny with faith.Just how hard is the true transition?You constantly believe and you are never out of touch with the Lord,yet its always harder when you being tested.How vulnerable are us humans when we faced with an immediate threat,that we have prayed for days on end?Faith is perhaps the easiest to find but the hardest to hold on to.Adversity can break a man to piont where his spirit just wonders of to the mountain of despair and seek comfort in the arms of despondency-to be a man comes with so much responsibility and accountancy,that it'll be impossible to make it without faith.So i decided to prayer very hard to get my faith back that I've left behind who knows how long back.The Lord said he who believes shall achieve.Why i opted to put my faith in the hands of humans all this while,is beyond me.I mean the Lord created me and he planned my life,long before i met any man on earth.If all the mountains around should tumble i'll hold on to my faith and know it's the Lord's will.No shadow will be dark for my restless soul.Strange how age seem to make us this wise persons,when we're actually,just people who made alot of mistakes,to gain a bit of knowledge. Some are afforded the oppertunity to rectify and testify about them,while others have to pay the ultimate price...death.So even when it seems to be overwhelming and my spirit has seemingly abandoned me,i seek without ending to find and hold on to my faith.